I love this reflection, Kristian, because it really speaks to the depth of your humanity as a person and all that it involves. I believe presence is something you give from your heart, and it is in the moment. Presence does not have a requirement other than you are there and giving of yourself. You do not relinquish your responsibilities in that moment, but you balance your presence with them. This is such a great article because it shows the importance of being present on your terms. At the end of the day, that is all that matters. Happy Father's Day, my friend.
Patrick, Happy Father’s Day to you as well! I hope you’re having a wonderful day.
As always I appreciate your reflections. In fact you explained presence wonderfully. I definitely felt your presence as we did our Live a few months ago. It created a warm environment where I could be open and transparent. I’m always striving to be a better person, dad, husband, and son, and I believe presence is at the intersection of those responsibilities.
What struck me was the pool. The joy and the vigilance, held at the same time. I have felt that tension and never had words for it. You just gave me some.
Geri, I really appreciate your reflections! Your input and reactions are invaluable. The word you used, vigilance, described it perfectly. In those moments we strive to be in the moment, but also making sure our loved ones are taken care of. It’s definitely a balancing act. I used to see presence as sort of a nirvana type of moment, but now I think about it a bit different.
I like your shift from seeing presence as perfect attention to seeing it as repeated return. We often imagine that being distracted means we've failed, when perhaps the practice isn't never leaving the moment but continually choosing to come back to it.
That feels like a much more compassionate—and realistic—way of understanding what presence actually is...
“Presence is imperfect.” Sums it up for me. Being a parent of two boys is hard enough. Add in the constant thoughts that I want to write down, it’s a mess. But it’s good that we can always try strive that balance.
Hi Ernest! I’m a fellow parent of boys, and presence is hard! Given all of our responsibilities, I think it’s okay for us to define what presence looks like in this season of life. For some, it may be an hour of peaceful yoga. For others, especially parents with kids and busy lives, it may be a walk around the block without interruption. For a writer like yourself, maybe it’s 30 minutes of uninterrupted writing. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to set realistic expectations for presence that actually fit our lives.
Hey Kristian, I really like the article. I don't often respond on this type of article but it triggered a few thoughts and reflections.
I've always been quite disciplined:
- not answering my Blackberry (showing my age) when it created an always on access to e-mails in a global business
- creating time to delivery what I had to vs. what others had to
- etc...
Your reflections got me thinking about why I have been able to do this and continue to do this, not in a selfish way, but in a resource management way.
We are all finite (no matter what we think!) and we have bandwidth constraints. Prioritisation and ranking is a critical skill, not only for an AI-enabled world but for life in general. Yet, are we taught that, or helped to develop it?
An opportunity for people to pick up on and develop perhaps ...
First and foremost, thank you for taking the time to read my writing. It means a lot!
Your ability to tune out noise and really focus is a skill - one that is undervalued in my opinion. One of my favorite book that tackled this subject was Cal Newport’s book, Deep Work. It was eye opening for me and mentions some interesting techniques to reclaim our focus.
I think the ability to tune out distractions sometimes gets lost in this AI age, where information is at our fingertips. In some ways, learning to focus more may require some having to unlearn behaviors we have picked up over time with smartphones and endless apps.
What complicates things as well is companies mandating associates use technology to drive efficiencies. If we’re not careful, this sense of vigilance to “optimize” everything could bleed into our own lives, if we’re not careful.
Resource management, time management and just-in-time prioritization is a skill that needs to be taught in schools, in my humble opinion.
Thank you again Adrian for your reaction to this piece!
I think presence may lose its purpose when we put a lot of restrictions on its meaning. It should be a term for all of us to define for ourselves, based on our thoughts and feelings as well as the structure of our lives.
Well said, Jamie! I think that’s exactly it. Presence isn’t a fixed formula but rather something each of us has to define within the reality of our own lives and circumstances. It’s definitely not one size fits all.
I love this reflection, Kristian, because it really speaks to the depth of your humanity as a person and all that it involves. I believe presence is something you give from your heart, and it is in the moment. Presence does not have a requirement other than you are there and giving of yourself. You do not relinquish your responsibilities in that moment, but you balance your presence with them. This is such a great article because it shows the importance of being present on your terms. At the end of the day, that is all that matters. Happy Father's Day, my friend.
Patrick, Happy Father’s Day to you as well! I hope you’re having a wonderful day.
As always I appreciate your reflections. In fact you explained presence wonderfully. I definitely felt your presence as we did our Live a few months ago. It created a warm environment where I could be open and transparent. I’m always striving to be a better person, dad, husband, and son, and I believe presence is at the intersection of those responsibilities.
Thank you for your kind words.
That means a lot to me.
It is clear from your writing that you are all of those.
Keep being you, Kristian.
What struck me was the pool. The joy and the vigilance, held at the same time. I have felt that tension and never had words for it. You just gave me some.
Geri, I really appreciate your reflections! Your input and reactions are invaluable. The word you used, vigilance, described it perfectly. In those moments we strive to be in the moment, but also making sure our loved ones are taken care of. It’s definitely a balancing act. I used to see presence as sort of a nirvana type of moment, but now I think about it a bit different.
Great perspective, Kristian. I liked your approach to this topic. It was both entertaining and eye opening.
Thank you for taking the time to read it 🙏. It was a bit of an unconventional approach in writing about presence. 😊
I like your shift from seeing presence as perfect attention to seeing it as repeated return. We often imagine that being distracted means we've failed, when perhaps the practice isn't never leaving the moment but continually choosing to come back to it.
That feels like a much more compassionate—and realistic—way of understanding what presence actually is...
“Presence is imperfect.” Sums it up for me. Being a parent of two boys is hard enough. Add in the constant thoughts that I want to write down, it’s a mess. But it’s good that we can always try strive that balance.
This is a great article.
Hi Ernest! I’m a fellow parent of boys, and presence is hard! Given all of our responsibilities, I think it’s okay for us to define what presence looks like in this season of life. For some, it may be an hour of peaceful yoga. For others, especially parents with kids and busy lives, it may be a walk around the block without interruption. For a writer like yourself, maybe it’s 30 minutes of uninterrupted writing. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to set realistic expectations for presence that actually fit our lives.
Hey Kristian, I really like the article. I don't often respond on this type of article but it triggered a few thoughts and reflections.
I've always been quite disciplined:
- not answering my Blackberry (showing my age) when it created an always on access to e-mails in a global business
- creating time to delivery what I had to vs. what others had to
- etc...
Your reflections got me thinking about why I have been able to do this and continue to do this, not in a selfish way, but in a resource management way.
We are all finite (no matter what we think!) and we have bandwidth constraints. Prioritisation and ranking is a critical skill, not only for an AI-enabled world but for life in general. Yet, are we taught that, or helped to develop it?
An opportunity for people to pick up on and develop perhaps ...
First and foremost, thank you for taking the time to read my writing. It means a lot!
Your ability to tune out noise and really focus is a skill - one that is undervalued in my opinion. One of my favorite book that tackled this subject was Cal Newport’s book, Deep Work. It was eye opening for me and mentions some interesting techniques to reclaim our focus.
I think the ability to tune out distractions sometimes gets lost in this AI age, where information is at our fingertips. In some ways, learning to focus more may require some having to unlearn behaviors we have picked up over time with smartphones and endless apps.
What complicates things as well is companies mandating associates use technology to drive efficiencies. If we’re not careful, this sense of vigilance to “optimize” everything could bleed into our own lives, if we’re not careful.
Resource management, time management and just-in-time prioritization is a skill that needs to be taught in schools, in my humble opinion.
Thank you again Adrian for your reaction to this piece!
I think presence may lose its purpose when we put a lot of restrictions on its meaning. It should be a term for all of us to define for ourselves, based on our thoughts and feelings as well as the structure of our lives.
Well said, Jamie! I think that’s exactly it. Presence isn’t a fixed formula but rather something each of us has to define within the reality of our own lives and circumstances. It’s definitely not one size fits all.
I appreciate your reaction to this article 🙏