The Night We Almost Skipped
A simple question that changed our decision
“Do you still want to go?”
My wife asked me this past Saturday afternoon while we were relaxing.
“I do, but I’m really tired. Maybe we should skip?”
Our friends had invited us to a minor league baseball game for that evening. The day before, we were excited about it. We even had an intentional conversation about trying to make more memories together as a family. What better way to do so than a family outing at the ball park
But for some odd reason, we weren’t feeling it. We could think of every excuse not to go.
Have you ever been in this situation before, where staying feels easier than going?
It’s easy to commit to something in advance, but when the moment comes, your brain overweights the immediate costs:
You’re tired.
You’re comfortable.
You’re home.
And it underweights the reward:
The memory.
The experience.
The time together.
Psychologists refer to this as present bias. It’s where we tend to favor what feels easier now over what might feel better later.
We sat there for a minute. Not deciding quite yet. And then we asked ourselves a different question. The question wasn’t whether we felt like going.
We framed it differently:
Would we regret it if we didn’t go?
The answer was yes.
But even after we decided to go, it didn’t feel exciting. It felt more like effort.
Getting ready. Getting all 6 of us out of the house.
But once we got there, the mood changed. We felt the energy of the crowd. We smelled the popcorn from the concession stands.
As the game started, our older boys met up with their friends. Our youngest met up with his buddy. My wife and I had a good libation and good conversation with our friend.
The game went into extra innings. The home team lost. But it didn’t matter. There was a big celebration after the game.
There were fireworks.
My youngest got a game ball.
It was a perfect night.
We almost didn’t go to the game. We would have missed experience.
It didn’t feel like a perfect night when we were sitting on the couch. It just felt like effort.
If we had stayed, nothing bad would have happened, but something would have been missed.
And I’m starting to believe those moments are the ones that shape everything, and stay with us.
Both / And is about making decisions you can live with.
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When you asked the question if you have ever been in that situation before, when staying feels easier than going, I am sure this spoke to everyone who read your piece. It spoke to me because sometimes making a simple decision like this demonstrates the importance of just doing it. The results created a memory and changed the entire evening. Great article.
I think I often now ask myself - Would I regret it if I didn't go/do x/etc and if it's a yes, I try to do it even if it feels a lot in the moment. That's awesome that you all had a great time once you got there. Baseball games are always a good time!